do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He better not be in your backpack
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
