what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
