You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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