The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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