I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
