Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
