Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
