That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
