...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
