Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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