i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
