And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize