For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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