Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
