I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
