Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
