did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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