He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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