No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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