Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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