we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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