Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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