my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is Oprah even human
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize