We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
