she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
