im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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