Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
