Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
no you cant smoke seaweed
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
