I hate all girls vehemently.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
