I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
