i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
