I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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