i was born a porn star she said
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
