The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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