I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
