So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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