I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So vagazzling was a success
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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