i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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