at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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