First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
