So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
