After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
