just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
