While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
