Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize