I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
