I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
