erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
