i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's rum buckets o'clock
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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