3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
