Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
