a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
