just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
