she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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