I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
