It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
