i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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