One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
