So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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