Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
