I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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