I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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