so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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