You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize